Putting a Face and Name to Addiction

Last year I made postcards honoring my brother Kevin and encouraging people to perform random acts of kindness and share Kevin's story. This year I struggled with taking this project on again. I'm really not sure exactly what I hoped to accomplish last year. I guess I was hoping for the hashtag to be used or some sign that people were reading the cards and moved by the message.  I didn't receive a lot of feedback on the cards. I handed a lot out but wasn't sure if the message was being read or received.  Then I learned about a teacher from my old high school. She was videotaped allegedly snorting cocaine during her plan period. People were openly mocking her on social media. I asked myself where were the compassion and empathy? This woman has a problem, more specifically a disease and people are mocking her! I was outraged. This is the very reason why I need to share Kevin's story and will continue to share his story.  Sharing Kevin's story and showing that he was a loving human being who deserves empathy and compassion have become my life-long work. I tie this to my other purpose which is that I want people to know or learn that addiction is a disease. Addicts are not born with needles in their arms. They once had dreams, wishes, and plans for a successful future. Who grows up with the dream that they want to become a drug addict? These are misconceptions that we thrust upon them and they are hard to beat. We need to be compassionate human beings and treat addiction in a humane way.  Of course, I wish wholeheartedly that Kevin was here telling his story about how he had overcome this awful disease. But the hard truth is that he is not. So I will do it for him.

The Kijanowski family is going on five years without our beloved Kevin, or Kev as we fondly called him. For those who don't know we lost my brother, Kevin John Kijanowski on January 4, 2013, to what we believe was a heroin overdose. Sometimes it feels as if I had lost my brother a decade ago and other times it feels like yesterday. I remember the guttural scream I let out when my dad told me he was gone. I remember going completely numb and wondering what should I do next? Who should I call? What do I do? How do I live when someone I love was taken away suddenly? I literally do not remember the year of 2013 as I learned to deal with a new normal of life without Kevin. A life that I never asked for and neither did my family.

This is Kevin. He was my brother and was loved by so many people. He was funny, kind, and compassionate. He had a disease that he did not ask for. Much like someone who has any other disease. The person he became after the addiction took hold, was an alter ego. He was a shell of who he once was. He just wanted to be normal, loved and accepted. Once addiction took over, this was something many people did not afford to Kevin. They wrote him off as a helpless cause with no chance of redeeming himself.

I write this blog because we, as a society, can prevent more deaths from this awful disease. We can change the stigma of addiction as well. Someone who is addicted to drugs is not a criminal. They are a human being. They are someone's son, brother, nephew, friend, dad, neighbor. They live next door to us. They shake our hand at church. They wave to you as you drive by in your car. We must show compassion and understanding to those afflicted with this disease so that we can eliminate this disease. It is a PREVENTABLE disease! I challenge you to break the stereotypes attached to addiction. I implore you to stop for a moment when you hear a story of an overdose or someone simply doing drugs and think of them as a human being with a family that loves them.  They are someone's world. Not someone to be laughed at, ridiculed, or shamed.  Choose empathy and kindness rather than placing judgment.   Addiction is a disease, not a choice.

What I hope to accomplish:
* I want people to recognize that addiction is a disease just as much as heart disease or cancer. No one asks for it.
* I want others to take a minute to realize how much of a problem addiction is and the old mindset of "This can't happen to me," is simply not true anymore. This has affected everyone. We are just unwilling to talk about it.
* I want others to be able to talk openly about their problems with addiction or their loved one's battle without fear and shame.
* I want others to learn from my mistake of blaming the addict. For years, and I mean YEARS, I blamed my brother for choosing drugs over everything including his family. It has taken me a long time to realize that was not a choice he made. It was a choice that the disease of addiction made. I had so much misplaced anger that wasn't helping anyone. I don't want this for anyone else.
* I want family members of those who suffer from addiction to not hide in shame and disgrace. You are not alone.

I will not hide my brother's struggle with drugs under embarrassment and disgrace. Hello, my name is Mary, and it has become my life's mission to change the stigma of addiction. I am the sister of an addict, and I will not rest until you have learned of this disease. Join me in changing the stigma of addiction.

With that being said, here is the card. If you would like one or a few to help share Kevin's story, send me an e-mail with your address and how many cards you would like to mary.klepper79@gmail.com

Ch ch ch changes!

I have decided to change the name of my blog and begin to blog about my new role. Last school year I was asked to be an instructional coach at an elementary school. I was excited but nervous to get back to my elementary roots. So much had changed in education since I was at the elementary level. I welcomed the opportunity with open arms and I learned a ton during that adventure. I learned a tremendous amount professionally as well as a lot about me as a person. I learned a lot about what strong leadership is and is not. I learned what kind of leader I work best with rather than under.  I learned how to have high expectations for students and they will rise to those expectations.   It was also during that school year that I realized I had evolved into a middle school teacher and working with striving readers is really my passion and my wheelhouse.  I missed the middle school environment.  I needed to get back!  Also, the hour-plus commute each way was beginning to take a toll on me. I started looking closer to my house for reading specialist positions and truly found my dream position. I have always been fortunate to work with passionate teachers who truly want to do right by children, and I have definitely found that in my new position. 

I am starting to dabble with some new strategies in my intervention classes that I can't wait to share. I saw Penny Kittle, author of Book Love, present at the Secondary Reading League Conference. I have always been an admirer of Penny's work and she has been a huge influence on my philosophical beliefs of children as readers. It would be a huge understatement for me to say that seeing her present was AMAZING!  Her enthusiasm for reaching all readers was contagious and helped reinvigorate me on that cold Friday morning. I will be sharing her ideas that I am beginning to implement into my Exploring Reading classes. I can't wait, and the students are equally excited!

Thank you so much for reading and I am looking forward to sharing this journey with you!

Peace and love,

Mary